Dow Jones (starring Common)

"Dow Jones" starring Common from Common

Coldplay Gives Away Free Live Album Online (Thank You Recession!)

Thanks to the recession, Coldplay is going to be giving away their latest album, LeftRightLeftRightLeft (yes, stupid name), which they recorded while they are on their 2009 tour (still going on). The album will be available for download on May 15. [Coldplay]

Here's the tracklisting:

1. Glass of Water
2. 42
3. Clocks
4. Strawberry Swing
5. The Hardest Part/Postcards From Far Away
6. Viva La Vida
7. Death Will Never Conquer
8. Fix You
9. Death And All His Friends

"Lawyer" Beats Out "Video Game Tester" As Best Job

As you may have heard, we're in a recession. Obviously, every sector of every industry has been hurt by it, and that of course includes Corporate Law and firms such as Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom. So what has Skadden done to cut costs? They've started the most awesome cost cutting program ever: take a year off, and we'll pay you $80,000 for it!

Okay, that sounds a little misleading. Instead of instituting layoffs, Skadden instituted the "Sidebar" program, offering associates (not partners) of the firm a third of their base salary to take the year off from working. For first year associates at Skadden, that would mean no less (NO LESS!) than $50,000 for a year of doing whatever the hell you want (including testing video games); for Heather Eisenlord, the subject of the Times article, it's $80,000. She's going traveling around the world.

I wish I was a lawyer.

[New York Times via AboveTheLaw]

Esquire Nominated Steve Jobs for President...of General Motors

The important question is whether the move will "save" GM, and the answer, obviously, is no. No single thing — or even single car — will save GM. Except, perhaps, the appointment of a visionary, vicious bastard-genius to permanently replace Wagoner. Someone with the foresight of a seer, the calculation of a burglar, the self-confidence of a sheikh, and the bloodlust of a Spartan. A century ago, we'd have had been throwing out names left and right: Carnegie, Morgan, Vanderbilt, Rockefeller. Today there's only one: Jobs. Here's why.

But if Steve's not available (and here's hoping his health at least brings him back to the Apple keynote stage with, say, a MacBook Mini), may we suggest Wendelin?

[Esquire]

Need Money? Find the Tree Killer [Rewards]

Yes, we are in a recession. Could you use some extra cash? I'm sure you could! How about $2,000? All you have to do is find the idiot who is cutting down trees at Inwood Hill Park in Upper Manhattan. That's a pretty penny just to find the guy who is chopping down and removing trees. I think everyone, at least ever New Yorker, should be looking for this fool. You have a better chance of catching this guy and getting the reward than you do of winning the lottery or heck, even finding a decent-to-good job right now!

Now, I'm no tree hugger, but if it's going to make you money, I'm all for it! Arborcide is illegal.

NEW YORK (AP) -- An ax might have been used. Or a machete.

But this is undisputed: Park employees have discovered 17 trees at Inwood Hill Park in northern Manhattan have been chopped down and left to rot. The victims include pines, sugar maples and young tulip trees.

Parks Commissioner Adrian Benepe calls it a "methodical serial attack just to kill trees.'' He says there's a $2,000 reward for information about the attacks.

It's not the first times trees have been slaughtered at the park. Parks officials say 35 eastern red cedars were cut down to their stumps last March and 28 were killed in November 2006.

The 200-acre park is home to hundreds of plants and tree species.

FedEx Kinkos Offers Free Resume Printing Tomorrow

Fed Ex Kinkos is offering free printing of your resume tomorrow. Bring in a paper or digital copy of your resume and you can print out up to 25 copies of your resume. Handy for all those folks looking to give away their resumes (like candy on Halloween) to try to get a job (even if it's as a janitor).

This offer is good for 25 black-and-white resume copies per customer and is only valid for orders placed and picked up in-store. Customers may place orders by submitting their resume in printed format or as a digital file, and the copies will be printed single-sided on resume-quality paper.

Not sure what resume-quality paper is, but I'm sure it's better than the "I-used-one-side-but-the-other-side-is-good paper I have at home" [FedEx]

Get Some Facts!

Jim Calhoun was questioned by a "reporter" (more of a douche) regarding his salary after getting his 799th win last night. Calhoun is the highest paid state employee in Connecticut. But there is a reason for that. It's because UCONN wins!

If that idiot for a reporter was making that kind of money, he wouldn't want to give that money back either. Especially when Calhoun's Huskies are currently ranked #1 in the nation. Let's face it, the state of Connecticut has little to no representation in the world of sports. They one professional team, the WNBA team, the Connecticut Sun. Outside of that, people in Connecticut have to root for their local colleges or teams outside of the state. UConn has an outstanding basketball program (both men's and women's). UConn basketball does bring in a ton of money to the school. If it wasn't for the school success on the court, enrollment would fall rapidly. Kids go to big name schools for reasons other than just education. With enrollment falling, school funds would fall. I'm sure that $12 million (tax-free) helps the school.

Calhoun is a hall of fame coach. He has won 2 national championships and has a winning record (799-339). Any team in college basketball would be happy to have him.

It was quite obvious that this guy wasn't a real reporter. This chump gives reporters a bad name. If you want to ask questions about salary, don't ask during a post-game news conference. I'm sure this guy could have gone to Calhoun's office and asked him. Or better yet, go ask the school's athletic director, because that's who deals with salaries of coaches. You want to complain, complain to your government. Don't tell a guy who was offered money to do a job (that he has come through and done well) to return money to your state. If the state wants to keep their money that badly, they can fire him and find a sub par replacement (me? or maybe the reporter) to fill the position.

Two things are for certain. One is that having Calhoun as head coach of the Huskies helps the team and school more than it hurts the school. Second, without the Huskies bringing in $12 million, the state would have to pitch in to help the school, otherwise, the students suffer.

Let's not forget, that while Coach Calhoun makes a lot of money, some of that money goes to charity. If he makes $500k less, who do you think suffers him or the charities?

Lastly, if you want to question people's salaries, ask the people who are paying them, not people receiving them. Anyone who is offered a ton of money would and rightfully should take it. Especially during this economic downturn. You would be a fool to turn it down. If you are upset that some people on Wall Street are getting extravagant bonuses, go blame their bosses for poor money management. Don't tell the recipients to give back the money they were given.